Nemo

Dirty and stinky. He had just traveled all the way from Batangas, all soaked up in his urine and vomit. But when he licked my hands and looked me in the eyes with the most hopeful gaze in the universe, I knew he had me on that first day we met.

He was four months old then. It has been 8 years since that first meeting and it has been a lot of fun. The cute little guy I took home in a shoebox is now all grown up. Sometimes he’s stubborn, makulit. But most of the time he makes me smile with his antics and melts my heart when we share our small moments of bliss.

Once, on a summer day, I took him to the park. After a little while he was surrounded by children. He enjoys it, the attention he gets from children wherever he goes. He seems so sure if the person he’s meeting is a child or an adult. I noticed he wags his tail more when he sees a child. I must have rubbed off on him my having a soft spot for children hehehe

“Neee-mo?” the children at the park said almost in chorus when they asked me for his name. They looked a little confused. I was sure they were wondering why they’re seeing a dog and not a fish

You

You called my name and somehow I knew that it was the moment. Oh, don’t be flattered yet. I have fought your presence. I have fought the swelling emotions inside me. They were tugging me towards you, drawing me closer to you every second of every day. I have fought them hard. In fact, I have thought that I’ve won the battle inside me. But I was wrong. The force was stronger, so much stronger. Somewhere between your smiles I lost and I surrendered, and that was when I found my heart’s songs.

So I stepped into a world which we both started to create. It is a beautiful, beautiful space where we unravel many mysteries; where we share the same passions; where we seek solace from our everyday storms; where we dance to the fluid rhythm of our beating hearts. In many moments of stillness and solitude, I have wished for this dance to never end, for the music of our hearts to never stop.

Because you make me happy. You make me mad. You make me madly happy. You make me happily mad. Thank you for putting up with a crazy mortal that is me.

Happy birthday! Cheers!

(Accompanying image is not mine. It’s from a forwarded email.)

Little Drummer Boy

You excitedly put on your parade uniform, turned to me, and said, “Dako ak drum.” (My drum is big.) I just smiled back at you. Secretly, I glanced at your drum. Yes, I think it is big for you. And it is a bit heavy for you. But I knew you could go on with the parade with it.

Look at you now, all grown up. Soon, you’ll be a man, a big man, like you’ve always wanted to become. When I think of you crawling in bed six or seven years ago, I wonder what happened to all the years in between. They just flew by like a blur. I think you suddenly grew up.

I picked up your shoes and cleaned them and you thanked me. I felt a tug in my heart. My heart was broken into very, very small pieces and it felt like the pieces were drained right out of me, like the dry sands that fell from the soles of your shoes.

I looked at you as your turned to walk away, I wondered how it would have made you feel if it was your mother who cleaned your shoes.

Sometimes, I wonder how you manage to go on experiencing life without a mother. Yes, I do love you. Lolo and Lola love you. Tita H, Tito T, Tito N, and Tatay A love you. But I wonder if our love is enough, if it’s ever enough to take the place of a mother’s love.

Sometimes, I wonder if beyond your smiles you keep a secret longing for a mother’s warm hug.

Sometimes, I wonder if your mother ever remembers you. I am hoping she does.

At the parade, you smiled at me while your little hands, covered in white gloves, repeatedly beat the drum with those blue sticks. I am happy to be part of moments like this—your little happy moments, your little proud moments. And I will be happy to be part of more moments like this in your life.


You might someday ask me why your mother have left you. To be honest, I don’t know what I will tell you when that day comes, because I do not know the answer. I would also like to ask her the same question. I myself have always believed na walang inang natitiis ang anak. But in your case, sometimes I doubt the truth of this.

I always hope and pray that you grow up to be a good man. In the meantime, I will try to protect your tender heart from all the harshness of the world until you become strong enough to fight life’s evils on your own.

Miss Summitville

there are days in life that we never forget. like the day i’ve met you. because it was one of those lovely days that i came face to face with friendship. fate is sometimes playful, or how else could we have met?

together,
we are tired but happy feet roaming around.
we are clouds that float from east to west, north to south.
we are hikers.
we are walkers.
we are nature lovers.
we are lovers of hammocks. (oh, how our eyes would shine upon seeing one—especially if it’s hanging between trees.)
we are a pair of old slippers frolicking at the beach.
we are readers.
we are moviegoers.
we are reginians. (na-reveal tuloy ito dito hahaha).
we are stories intertwined.
we are laughters and smiles.
we are little kids inside.

yes, we are all these..and much, much more.

today, i celebrate with you and your family the passing of 365 days in your life. and i hope you’ll have as much peace, fun, and blessings in the next 365 days and beyond.

happy birthday, miss summitville. thank you for such a great friendship. if everyone else is blessed with a friend like you, the world is going to be lot more fun and a lot more crazier, too hehehe. thank you for seeing me the way you do. i am beginning to believe it

Welcoming Another 365 Days

Another set of 365 days is over. A new set of 365 days is beginning.

Thank you, God, for the gift of life.